Sunflower Thoughts

Kind, supportive and forward-thinking

Finding true friendship in my twenties


I’ve had a lot of friendships end and change throughout my twenty-one years. When I was younger, I assumed that I would stay best-friends-forever with my primary school pals, but we drifted apart, as children always do as they grow up and move to different schools.

Then there was the teenage best-friendship that lasted me through high school, but ended abruptly one day after a betrayal and was never recovered.

Finally, the toxic cliques of my college years, categorised by backstabbing and spite from girls who were very much old enough to know better, ending as soon as I broke up with their leader and was no longer eligible for membership in their ‘squad.’

The last couple of years, I’ve been perfectly fine without having a super-close girlfriend, spending the majority of my evenings and weekends with my boyfriend (now fiancĂ©), watching Netflix shows and going on shopping trips to TK Maxx (where I’d always spend far too much money). However once he moved in with me and we got engaged, I found myself craving a different kind of company.

I needed to find a friend. Someone to gossip and giggle over bottles of wine with, the same way that my mum and ‘auntie’ Sarah have done every Monday night since well before I was born.

But making new friends as an adult is strange, and it’s not something that anyone really talks about. How do you even go about ‘friending’ once you’re over the age of five and can no longer bond over a shared love of Peppa Pig and hatred of school dinners? Especially if you work 9-5 every day, barely leave the house, and hate driving.

As it turns out, it was easier than I initially thought. It’s 2019 and there’s an app for everything, including finding girlfriends. The app I came across was called Bumble BFF, and you ‘swipe’ your potential friendship matches in the same way you would use Tinder. How very modern.

At first I felt a bit self-conscious, putting in my age, likes and dislikes the same way I would a dating profile, worrying about whether my bio made me seem ‘cool’ or approachable, but once I got into the swing of things, it became fun. The matches started to ping in, which (as you’ll know if you’ve ever used Tinder) was all very exciting.

This next part is going to sound like a cheesy rom-com, because that’s essentially what it is. From the moment I first saw Em, I knew I wanted to be friends with her. Grinning out from her profile with a mass of pink hair, she described her love for reading, dogs and Netflix, and from the first message we instantly clicked.

I can imagine a few people reading this now will be thinking that I’m a bit of a saddo for having to use an app to make friends. But I can’t praise Bumble enough for enabling me to find someone to have sleepovers with, go ice skating every Monday, and be amazing and supportive enough to inspire me to start blogging again. 

Em is as loud and outgoing as I am shy. She’s the kind of girl I never would have dreamed of walking up to in public and starting a conversation with as she’s just so cool, with her bright hair and goth stomper boots, but thanks to Bumble, she’s my best friend, and I will always be proud of that.


*this post has not been sponsored in any way. I genuinely freaking love Bumble

22 comments

  1. This is such a lovely post - you put a huge smile on my face! XXXX

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  2. I found it very cute plus it is important to have good friends as adults.. and I like this idea..Also whenever I find a new friend i get excited like a 3 year old. dont know if it healthy though.. or just crazy

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    1. It's so important to have people to support and e,power us. It just sounds like you're excited! xx

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  3. Oh wow. I really struggle with meeting new people and currently am struggling with not having a close group of friends or even a close one that I can have in my life. I think this is going to be an app I'm going to have to check out - thank you so much! And I'm so glad it worked for you!

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    1. I would absolutely recommend it to everyone! It takes away all of the awkwardness that comes with trying to meet new people xx

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  4. Wow, I love this! I feel pretty similarly, especially after moving with my husband to a new city after college. We have several acquaintances and people we like to see every once in a while, but no one close by who is a close friend. I can so, so relate. I didn't know there was an app for this, and I think I might actually give it a shot! Thank you so much for writing this and sharing.

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    1. I had no idea until I stumbled across it on the app store! I'm so glad I found it xx

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  5. This is such a good point, no-one talks about making friends past school years! I'm considering joining a local running group that I've seen on social media which might help both improve my health and expand my social circle! :-)

    Thank you for sharing this idea too!

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  6. Such a lovely post.

    I've always been intrigued by Bumble, and good to see it's helped a fellow 'shy gal' out!

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    1. It's been honestly life changing, definitely worth a try xx

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  7. You make some good points - making friends as an adult is so different... life is more complex, schedules are packed and we've got far more responsibilities to concern ourselves with.
    Britt | http://alternativelyspeaking.ca

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    1. Exactly, it's no longer about working together in lessons or at playtime! So much more complex with more difficulties xx

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  8. I don't think it's sad to use an app for friendship at all. In fact, I'm going to check it out. I've used bumble as a dating app without much success but I'm not looking for romance right now. I'd rather make friends and enjoy life without romance for now so this is a great idea. Thank you! And you're right. It is harder to make friends as you get older. It's so different.

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    1. Thank you for saying that! I was worried that people would think I'm a loser, not being able to make friends 'normally'. But it's totally changed everything for me and is always worth a try xx

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  9. It is so hard to make friends when you leave uni and land in a new city. I did have troubles! I made friends through blogging but I had never heard of Bumble BFF! Will try that out when I move to NYC!

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    1. I do have a group of friends that I've made through blogging, but we all live so far away and have very different lives and schedules xx

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  10. I feel very similarly to you! I had a ton of friends in school and sixth form. Then due to a number of things, mental health, university and just generally growing older and growing apart, I've found myself at 26 with very few friends and definitely no 'best friend' or person I hang out with regularly who wants to see me.

    My boyfriend lives with us too - so I spend all my time with him but I also crave that different type of company sometimes too. I might download this app and give it a go!

    Jenny
    http://www.jennyinneverland.com

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    1. It's so strange isn't it? I was incredibly popular in primary school, less so in high school, then pretty much solitary through college. I'm so happy to have a best friend now that I know I can count on for anything xx

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  11. This is such a positive post! I am still pretty close with most of my school friends but have drifted apart from most of my uni friends. I agree that it is hard making friends as you get older. I might give Bumble a try too.

    Eve | www.evemorganinteriors.com

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    1. Thank you! I'm so glad to hear that - It's always worth a try as there's nothing to lose. xx

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